Can We Stop This?

She’s been disturbing me again. Calling me over and over again every now and then. Trying to convince me if she could come visit me. I keep saying no because I won’t be able to accommodate her well. She knows that I’m busy but she still keeps on insisting. Its starting to get annoying but at least she knows her place. For some reason, she got angry at me about it. She said just last night that she feels that I’m ignoring her. Well, I can say that I haven’t been able to talk to her that much anymore but I’m not ignoring her. Let me reveal what is really happening when she’s here. She gets to wake me up in the morning, play with me, eat with me (Damn that sounds like I’m a pet or she’s the pet) and even take naps with me. I kinda get conscious with doing these things with her as clearly she said before “We are just friends”. I know the boundaries and I would really want to stick with those boundaries. I no longer have feelings for this person and somehow she saying that she has feeings more me? Wait.. Its getting confusing and it is really causing conflict in me. I don’t want anything from her right now. I already have problems about school work and this thing is just worsing things up. Can we just stop this thing right now? You did say that we are just friends and nothing more. I want to stick to that as you once did. I no longer have feelings for you and it is hurting me a lot. People might notice that I’m sending a lot of text quotes lately and is far more emotional than the usual. That’s just my way of compensating for this conflict. Yeah, sorry for making this. Its nothing negative though, I just want it out of me as soon as possible as it is really disturbing me. Some even noticed that I was somehow blank while at the office today. Sorry for that, its just about this.. Haay… Final exams are nearing and I need to prepare. I hope you’d understand. And I hope the others would too..

Lesson learned.. Ayoko muna makipagclose with anyone. Don’t wanna get hurt like this again.

My Mistake by unforgetablesoul

You hold me close and then let go,
Letting me fall into a black hole.
You see my face saddened in tears,
Knowing as I look down I recover all of my fears.
It seems like the whole world doesn’t care,
Not even you would step up…. you wouldn’t dare.
I close my eyes and hold my breath,
Waiting a few seconds for my death.
But then I open my eyes and see you,
You’re all the way up there as I’m still falling through.
This all seems like a bad nightmare,
But it’s reality… a world not fair.
Slowly in the darkness you start to disappear,
After a moment you’re not here.
I’m all alone like I was before,
My heart, I know, can’t take this anymore.
I hold myself together one last time,
As the fall is getting closer by.
I only wished to be happy,
But happiness can never last for me…
I say my last goodbyes,
As my heart slowly starts to die…
At the end I think of you…
And remember as my heart burns to ashes…
How you said… my only mistake was to love you…

~ by dchen on October 13, 2008.