Ironic..

It was vacation time and it is mostly the time where the body clocks of students tend to be the opposite of their usual time. I myself sleep when the sun rises. Playing computer games from defending ancients with heros in DOTA to killing fellow players in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, to slaying demons in Devil May Cry 4 to rockin’ the house down with Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock and Drum Mania. Doing this seems to make me contended of this boring life. It was my classmate’s birthday that day, I remember him from our high school days. He was loud, reacts so much and a nice guy when you get to know him more. And a friend of mine came by, she woke me up when I was still sleeping on my bed. This is the second time she had the chance to wake me up while I was still in bed. I.. Actually allowed it. I actually (still) have feelings for this girl. She’s been a real close friend of mine while we were still in high school and she doesn’t take me seriously. Or maybe that’s what I just think (which is most of the time is wrong). I already tried telling her that I love her and yet nothing happens. Seems like a joke to her. LOL To continue.. She was there, she lied on bed with me and talked trying to wake me up. The thing that really gets you alive – annoyance. Well, not really the word annoying because I actually liked what she did. She was sweet as she would really take care of you and worry if you had problems. Held hands, hugged and tickled. Touched her face as if you were lovers, amazed how she just came like that. At that point, it was like you could see (almost) all of the great things in life. (Minus the sex and all those other stuff related to that) Referring to being happy with someone whom you really love and getting to spend time alone with that person.

What’s wrong with the picture is that – she’s not my girlfriend. And she just puts me under the “close friends” category. Ironic as it is, I won’t be able to get out of it without doing something real stupid. Making an entry of it might be a stupid thing. She is so close, yet still so far. A fantasy that might never come true. The irony of life.. Pain.. Sadness.. Darkness.. Despair.. Or maybe all this emo and rock music is just getting to me.

~ by dchen on April 4, 2008.